MY TESTIMONY by Brian Chapman
I became aware for my need for God when I was in college attending UW-Platteville. I was born to a typical mid-western family from Milwaukee, WI; I had typical mid-western values instilled in me, and I thought I was a good person. I tended to stay out of trouble by listening to those who were older than me, gaining wisdom from their life experience. However, I still felt like I was missing something from my life. There was this deep, dark, gaping hole in my heart. A dark void was my searching heart. I was not happy about life or even hopeful, but depressed despite the good fortune of having a good family, a mom and dad who cared for me. My parents always expressed an interest in my brother (Erik) and I, were always encouraging us to become whatever we wanted to be in life by getting an education, hence, the reason for me going to college. There was no abuse done by my parent. Just typical sibling rivalry, aka fighting, that came from brothers being born so close in age. Erik and I are only 1-year, 4-months apart. Yet, I still did not have a purpose and did not know what I wanted to do with my life. I was an 18 year old wandering, aimless, naive, young man who came to Platteville in September of 1994, and enrolled at UW-Platteville.
The undecided and undeclared college freshman arrived. I was not into engineering, music, education, agriculture, or even building trades back then. I was undecided, unsure, and thought myself unlucky & unloved. What was I to do with my life? I did not know at first, but I did eventually declare a first major in criminal justice. Eventually I did settle on majoring in teaching History, Geography, and Social Sciences.
I did know one thing about myself, and that was that I did not like the way the world was; Racism, gangs, wars & fighting, slavery, and poverty. I wanted it to change. But how could I make the world a better place? I thought that by becoming a police officer, then on to politics, I could obtain the power to make decisions that would be better for everyone. Wanting the world to be a better place in a noble goal, but how naive and perhaps a little haughty in thinking that I could mold the world in my own image of what I thought was right and wrong.
Life is not simply, black and white, but can at times be very complicated. There are many complicated problems, so there is no cookie cutter, factory made solution to the human beings' heart problem. In true reality, there is only one TRUE solution: encountering Jesus, the Christ.
Perhaps Jesus saw that desire and passion in my life, so I believe He made a way for me to draw closer to Him. That way, that PATH, was started by a simple vocalized request I made to Him one night, while drunkenly staggering back to my dorm room (301 Wilgus Hall) from a party I had attended on Pine Street. Yes, I was underage at the time (19 years old).
I felt alone, despondent, and depressed over some girl I liked, and was still unsure about the new major I had chosen. I was drunk, and had a throbbing head cold that just did not seem to want to go away. The alcohol was not helping matters either, so I told my friends which remained at the party that I needed to go home while I wasn't completely drunk. They understood, wished me well, and said, "See Ya!"
It was this night that Jesus heard my prayer. A simple vocalized prayer from my heart, which I thought was foolish and stupid at the time, was made by talking out loud to a God that may or not be truly real. However, I believe it was one of the most powerful prayers I could ever pray, since it allowed Jesus to get involved in my life. Maybe Jesus already was, and I just did not realize it at the moment. This is what I said, "Ah, God, uh, if you are really there, please let me know. I want to know the truth if there even is any."
A week later, I had this thought about reading the Bible, so I found a little Gideon Bible I had received in High School, and started to read in the book of Matthew. I was only able to read up to chapter 7, because I started to cry, and did not know why. Then I began to become aware of a “presence” in my dorm room, and my sadness began to depart. I then thought, felt, and just knew that God was indeed a very real being. He was real! I thought then and still do now, that God is real and He is really awesome, worthy of praise! We can truly EXPERIENCE God firsthand.
Another week went by, and my friends all left to go home, except for one, Dan. I was stranded (no car) in Platteville with nothing to do, was bored, so I called my friend Dan to see if he was available, which he was. Finally, someone I could hang out and drink beer with, I had not completely given up drinking. I still had some things in my life that need changing. Dan said, "Come on over Brian. We're watching the 1995 Packer-Cowboy playoff game and playing cribbage." I said, "I'll be right over!"
Dan was in the middle of playing a hot, intense, losing, and very disappointing game of cribbage with a man named Rick. He was a little older than Dan, friendly, and was in the middle of beating the snot out of Dan in cribbage. I was hoping Dan was going to get the game over with soon (by losing), since I wanted to know what he was offering to quench my thirst; he had not offered me anything to drink up until that point. While they played, I watched the game, and became depressed and upset that my team (Green Bay Packers) was losing to the Dallas Cowboys. Ugh!
After both games, cribbage and football, Dan's friend, Rick, asked something really strange. At least to someone who never really had much experience with God. Rick said, "Dan & Brian, would you like to have a Bible Study tonight with me?" I said, "Sure, why not?" I had remembered the God moment I had 2 weeks earlier. This they both did not know. I never told them.
- was in this Bible Study that I learned more about who God was, and what He really wanted from me in my life. I learned that I needed to change, realize my need for Jesus, and I begin to obey (apply His teachings) to my life. I was not afraid but curious and hopeful that I might find some real truth in the world, and not hypocrisy.
I was amazed, shocked, challenged, and stirred during, through, and after this Bible Study. I came out of Dan's dorm room thoughtful, hopeful, and hungry for more of God's word. I also knew that God wanted me to make some more changes in my life. Things only God and I knew about. I then came to realize that I was the one sinning against God. I never thought of that before. I was told that some things were bad, but when I personally did them, I never thought it was really all that bad. But now, hearing, seeing, and reading God's word, Black and White, I knew for a certainty that I needed to have a desire to change, make some effort to change, and ask for God's power to change and turn away from my sin.
I was not a drug addict or alcoholic when I came to Jesus in repentance, but I did lie and steal, and do other things I knew those were against God's laws. Because, you see, I was known as the "Good Man." I did not get into trouble or try to stir up a hornets nest interfering in other people’s problems. But I still needed Jesus, the Christ in my life. You see, I needed to trade my life, for His Life. I had to give up my thinking for His. The only question is, "Will you?"
This is my testimony. God saved me from a boring, apathetic, mediocre, aimless, purposeless life, and gave me a NEW LIFE. He has given me interest, compassion, direction, and a purposed life, which is full of true JOY.
We are all loved and important to God, no matter what kind of situation we were first born into.
I am now living in Platteville, WI to serve others and my God, Jesus, the Christ. How can I help you?
Respectfully,
Brian Chapman, ph: 608-732-4377, e-mail: chappyman76@protonmail.com
